My son is an amazing human being. He has been my rock throughout this whole starting over process and I would give him the credit for helping me get back on track and not fall further into the abyss.
He was born almost 34 years ago and was a beautiful, loving little boy. I have always felt blessed that he is my son and we went through very little of those “bad” stages as he grew. No terrible two’s, no mouthy teen! Of course, he had his moments but mostly was a joy. He and I were very close as his dad always worked long hours, leaving the two of us together all of the time.
When he was very young, he developed a passion for sports, starting with a baseball card collection, playing his first basketball at the Y, Little League Baseball, high school basketball and then college basketball. He was a tall boy, athletic, and natural on the court and field, who dreamed of playing for the NBA. We tried to keep him grounded in reality, but at the same time, encourage him to follow his dream. He had many noteworthy moments in sports and his proud mom kept all of the newspaper clippings. His grandfather was a coach, phys. ed. teacher, and Athletic Director and was thrilled to see the success that my son had, generating a bond between them that was wonderful to see. His dad and I went to every game and sports became our social life. It gave us a chance to meet new people, travel, and spend hours together as a family. We had a lot of fun and many wonderful, close moments, and totally enjoyed this time.
Just so you don’t think that my son breezed through life and fulfilled his dream, there’s more you need to know. When he was about 14, he went through a growth spurt. During that time, he always carried a heavy backpack full of books, usually on one shoulder as we later found out. And over time, his body shifted and he developed scoliosis which necessitated his wearing a brace for 23 hours a day. It was under his clothes but you could tell that he was wearing it, a devastating experience for a teen. It straightened him from armpit to butt, made of stiff, heavy plastic, with indentations in the areas that had to push his body back in alignment. I used to cry at his distress but he faithfully wore that thing for a very long time. He still has it, a symbol of winning over adversity, and he managed to straighten out his back without surgery. I have to also give credit to his school mates because no one picked on him and his teammates were supportive, which I’m sure helped him comply.
Fast forward to college and at the end of the school year, he was involved in a situation which was life-threatening, traumatic, and life changing. We had to make him come home and deal with post traumatic stress disorder and he lost his chance to start as Point Guard in his last year of junior college. He would most likely have gotten a Division 1 scholarship to finish his BA, as this school produced a team that all went D-1, but his mental health had to be a priority. The result was that he met a wonderful therapist but lost the chance at his dream. There just wasn’t time and resources at the local college and while he continued to play, it did not give him the same opportunities.
So, basketball, playing overseas, his dream-gone. I worried about him all the time because he just couldn’t find another dream to replace that one. He worked, went to class, met a girl, but what would come next? What did he want to do with his life?
I’m happy to say that my son has finally “found his future”, which coincidentally is the name of the book that he wrote and is getting ready to self publish. He has come to believe that the things he went through directed him down this new path to become the man he was meant to be. He is passionate about life, about helping people, and works in two non-profits while working to create his own programs and ideas. He is positive and believes in the law of attraction, attracting good things to himself. He is a wonderful father to my beautiful grandson and mate to my daughter-in-law. And he is a son who has worked hard to understand his father’s issues and still maintain a relationship with him and who saved his mother from a depression that had me sitting in a chair, not eating, not working, not doing anything for three months. He wouldn’t let me keep crying and mourning. He made me get out of that chair and start to live again. And he moved in with me to help me save my home and keep a roof over my head. He’s the reason I started this blog and the reason that I have happiness back in my life.
I love you, Baby Boy!